Daniel Rosenberg’s Story

April 29, 2015/1 Comment/in Personal Stories /by Chatzkaleh Kofer

Daniel is 29 years old and lives with his Orthodox Jewish wife Raquel and four children in Louisville, Kentucky. He is an associate actuary and nowadays defines himself as an atheist.

Could you describe the religious environment you grew up in?

As some quick background, my family moved us to Zurich, Switzerland when I was 2 years old and we lived there until I was 10, after which we moved to Austin, Texas. There are some religious differences between the two areas we lived, but overall we were slightly more observant when we were living in Switzerland than when we were living in Texas (at least that’s how it seemed to me). Also, I am the third oldest of a family of ten children, so that is a little unusual for a non-Orthodox Jewish family.

I grew up in a conservative Jewish home, more on the traditional side. We kept basic kashrus¹, including having separate dishes for milk & dairy, but we didn’t worry too much about whether any of the food had a hechsher² (although it was a plus) so long as there wasn’t any treif³ in the ingredient list. We attended shul⁴ usually every Shabbos⁵, although we drove there. When we lived in Switzerland, we had regular Friday night meals at home. Also, in Switzerland, I attended a nominally Orthodox Jewish elementary school, but began attending public school when we moved back to the States.

Overall we were mostly secular and I lived life as a normal kid, but being Jewish was very important to my parents and it became very important for me as a result. However, being Jewish to us was more about doing Jewish things like keeping Kosher, observing the holidays, going to shul on Shabbos and the holidays, etc., and in terms of belief there wasn’t much that was essential other than believing in God.

The Story of Rebecca M. Ross

April 19, 2015/6 Comments/in Personal Stories /by Chatzkaleh Kofer

Rebecca M. Ross is a writer, teacher, playwright, blogger, and community activist. She lives with her husband, four children, and very large dog in the Hudson Valley. She loves coffee, Phish, and making people laugh.

Hi Rebecca! I am thrilled to interview you today. You are a longstanding friend of mine on the OTD online scene. We first ‘met’ on the now defunct blog ‘Haven Not Heaven’. Today, we are both admins on the Off the Derech Facebook group. Could you introduce yourself in terms of your religious background?

Hi! Thanks so much for including me in this very important project. It’s an honor and a privilege to be here.

In a nutshell, I was raised in a liberal Conservative home–I went to public school and we didn’t keep kosher, but we lit shabbat candles and made kiddush. I also attended a Conservative Hebrew school and had a bat mitzvah. I dabbled in orthodoxy in college. When I got married, I kept a kosher home, but then ended up frumming out several months later after an intense trip to Israel. About a year later, my husband and I went off the derech. Several years later, a move from Brooklyn put us in touch with the local Chabad. We ended up frumming out a second time, making aliyah, and then moving back to the US a year later. We went off the derech a second time almost a year after returning to the States.

What made you and your husband decide to go Off the Derech the first time? Was it a conscious decision or a slow process?

The first time we just left we were living at the edge of Midwood, a community made up of both orthodox and non-orthodox Jews, as well as Mexicans, Russians and Pakistani families. We rarely went to shul and never integrated into the orthodox community. Because of this, very few people noticed when we went off.

Becoming Acher by I.M. Acher (part 3 of 3)

April 1, 2015/1 Comment/in Personal Stories /by Chatzkaleh Kofer

Chapter 5: Denial; Not Just a River in Egypt.

The conversation that woke me up to how far I had fallen off the path.

He called himself Rabbi E. He stood outside the store trying to convince people to sign up for Birthright. He had been doing so for several years now. I’ve walked by him many times. He should have known I work in the store. He had been pitching his Birthright trip outside of the store for several years. But never once did he even look me in the eye.

He kind of reminded me of C-3P0. Or at least what C-3P0 would look like if he was human. He wore a small black velvet kippa. He had tzitzit sticking out. He had small payyot tucked behind his ears. He had red hair and a 5-o’clock shadow that was beginning to turn white. And like most campus missionary types, he spoke the language of the college neophytes.

At least that was his target audience. Clearly, he was ill-prepared for a hardened heretic.

I only stopped by his table because an old friend was preparing to film him. I hadn’t seen Shlomo in a few years. Shlomo had graduated a few years before. Now, he was a cameraman. He did a lot of work for Jewish organizations. Now, Shlomo was about to film the Kampus Kiruv Klown in action. I just stopped to catch up with Shlomo. I had no interest in engaging the Kampus Kiruv Klown.