Being in a relationship where one spouse is frum and the other one is OTD can be a rough spot to be in. Depending on the community you are in, it could either result in serious repercussions or ‘just’ be a difficult situation that both of you need to get adjusted to.

Generally speaking, as always with OTD people, it is advisable to make sure you have a plan for the worst case scenario. And therapy, both personal, as well as marriage counseling could be beneficial.

If you live in a very strict, charedi community, you may risk the following:

  • Divorce
  • Lose your whole social network
  • Lose custody of your kids
  • Kid(s) expelled from school
  • Loss of job
  • Financial difficulties, especially if you have high lawyer costs
  • Etc.

For support, please refer to Local Support Groups or Online OTD Communities. A great online resource is the OTD Manual.

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